OK, so my husband is a musician and he’s been on tour now for exactly 15 days. By himself. Driving across from Texas to L.A. and then up along the West Coast. And it’s really starting to get hard. I miss him. Which is kind of like, duh, right? The first week was fine, got my girl time in, hung out with family. But now the missing it really starting and he’s still going to be gone for at least another week. My cat and I have really gotten to know each other. Really well. I’m even thinking about getting a dog. I’ve EVEN read the first Dune novel and want to see the movie. In short, I’m not handling this well, people.
It’s funny because I sort of encouraged him to do this. He’s been a musician since we got together, but the past fews years have been kind of fallow for him. I encouraged him to quit his old job (it was an OK paying job with benefits and good friends, but ultimately soul and time-sucking. Plus he’d already worked there for 12 years, and was just spinning his wheels.) I encouraged him to do more solo stuff when he was fretting over not having a band together (he writes his own songs, sings and plays guitar). I told him to start doing his own booking when he lost his booker and to do his own publicity with the connections he already has (he knows a ton of music people). And he did. And he did it remarkably well. He drove himself (and me) crazy with the emailing and phone calls over the past few months, but he’s really doing well for himself. Doing radio, playing shows, and getting 2 page articles in L.A.-area weeklies is no small feat.
The fact is, he’s 32 and not getting any younger, so I told him he might as well try for a career in music now. If he fails, oh well, at least he tried. And he won’t look back on his life as an old man with regrets. Also, the man is ridiculously talented. I know I’m biased, but he’s really good. And with absolutely zero pretension. So, he must do this. But it’s still hard when it’s a reality. And the fact is, the more successful he is, the more he’ll be gone. Man. Talk about a double-edged sword.
I’ve been having bizarre dreams since he’s been gone. Weird ones about him being in Portland for his tour (I lived there when we got together) and not talking to me and walking away (he never does that!) and then me getting carjacked with an old Portland buddy of mine. I also had a dream about the crazy hot film director who tried hitting on me at a film workshop I attended 2 summers ago (right after C and I got engaged). I found out I’m even faithful to C in my dreams! It was just more of what happened in real life, i.e., Crazy Hot dancing with me in an overly sexual manner and trying to cuddle with me at parties and film screenings and me being all, hello, I’m engaged!
Anyway, one of C’s very sweet and cool and mentor-worthy bosses wants to hang out with me on Wednesday! Yay! Maybe we’ll be all grown-up and cool and sit at a wine bar and discuss our ambitions OR maybe I’ll get her to go to a bar that screens Project Runway and be totally shameless!
